The Blanket

Class War is Over!
[This article requires that readers have some local knowledge]

Billy Mitchell

A major row has broken out in Belfast over the authorship of an article published in “The Blanket” electronic magazine. An article claiming that the class war was over was attributed to Newton Emerson of Portadown News fame. However leading Sinn Fein activist, Da, claims that his son Cal wrote it as a comic sketch for the West Belfast Festival. This claim was immediately contradicted by leading loyalist, Uncle Andy, who claimed that the piece was actually written last March by Red Hand Luke, and was stolen by Billy the Cop who left it in a locker at Ladas Drive from where Da’s mates stole it last St. Patrick’s night. The row took a further twist when Nuala Mc Keever rang Carrie Twomey claiming that her Mickey wrote the article after a night out on the cider.

In an effort to prevent the row breaking out into street violence Alex Maskey has convened a special meeting of churchmen, trade unionists and literary critics to analyse the article and help settle the row. This simply complicated things. The experts immediately rejected any notion that Shinners or Loyalists (or anyone else from Planet Ulster) could possibly have had a hand in writing such a profound and stimulating article. Some saw the hand of Charles Murray while others were convinced that Newton Emerson was either Peter Jay or Milton Friedmann.

My point is this, does it matter who wrote the article. Richard Cranium could have written it for all I care (probably did). At the end of that day it is the message that is important. The class war is finally over… and Gerry Adams was never in the IRA … and the Colombian three were harmless eco-tourists… and Gerard Rice is a closet Orangeman… and there was no collusion behind the sacking of Joe Bowers and his fellow shop stewards…and Gerry Kelly never had a sectarian thought in his life…and vote-counting in Florida is the envy of the democratic world…and Paula Radcliff didn’t win the 10,000 meters at Munich…and Mick Mc Carthy is Roy Keanes favourite manager…and some people really do believe the unbelievable.









Index: Current Articles + Latest News and Views + Book Reviews + Letters + Archives





A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
- Adlai Stevenson

Index: Current Articles

15 August 2002


Other Articles From This Issue:


Put Spotlight On Republican Aims
Eamonn McCann


No Hierarchies Here!
Anthony McIntyre


Freedom to Dissent

Dorothy Robinson


Freedom of Whose Speech?
Paul A. Fitzsimmons


Political Intimidation
Anthony McIntyre


Class War is Over!
Billy Mitchell


11 August 2002


Class War
Newton Emerson


Nationalist Euphoria - Unionist Despondency
Billy Mitchell


Silent But Lethal

Anthony McIntyre


Democratise Democracy
Davy Carlin


The Pentagon's Secret Weapon
John Chuckman




The Blanket



Latest News & Views
Index: Current Articles
Book Reviews
The Blanket Magazine Winter 2002
Republican Voices

To contact the Blanket project with a comment, to contribute an article, or to make a donation, write to: