The Blanket

The Blanket - A Journal of Protest & Dissent

Talking to Mr. George


Fred A Wilcox • 7 December 2004

Apparently, G.W. Bush has been calling people in Northern Ireland to chat about the peace process in that part of the world. Curious to know what he had to say, I phoned the White House early one night, hoping to catch Mr. Bush before he retired to bed. Here is a transcript of our conversation.

G.B: Oh, not you again. What is it now?
F.W: Yes sir, it’s me. I understand that you spoke with Gerry Adams last week.
G.B: Who on earth is Gerry Adams?
F.W.: Sinn Fein. IRA.
G.B: Oh sure. Investment Retirement Account. Good deal. Cuts your taxes.
F.W: No, not that one. Irish Republican Army.
G.B.: How dare you talk to me like that?
F.W.: But you did call, didn’t you?
G.B.: I don’t recall ever calling the IRA.
F.W.: You talked about a deal in Northern Ireland.
G.B.: I don’t make deals. I deal.
F.W: The peace process.
G.B.: Right, we’re going to bring democracy to Saudi Arabia
F.W.: You were talking about Northern Ireland, weren’t you?
G.B.: What’s a process?
F.W: The Good Friday Agreement, remember?
G.B.: Good Friday? I’m not a Catholic, am I? My closest friends call me evangelical. No, that’s not a nickname.
F.W.: It’s an ecumenical agreement, Mr. Bush. Inclusive. Diverse. Multicultural. Protestants, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Hindus. Republicans, Loyalists, others.
G.B: Republicans? Well now, that’s a different story.
F.W.: Irish Republicans.
G.B: The fighting Irish. Yes. I was at the Army Navy game. Those boys can play.
F.W.: That’s Notre Dame. But you looked terrific in shoulder pads.
G.B: And Iran is at it again. Did you say Ian?
F.W.: Right, the Reverend Paisley.
G.B.: Never liked those silly looking ties.
F.W.: Not ties. He’s a politician. Didn’t you talk to him last week?
G.B.: Man kept telling stories about sackcloth.
F.W.: That’s the one you spoke with all right.
G.B.: I swear he wanted to humiliate me.
F.W.: Not you, Mr. Bush.
G.B.: Oh yes. Kept insisting that I pray for photographs.
F.W.: He’s a photographer now?
G.B: Something about guns. I’m supposed to pray for photographs and guns.
F.W.: Politics makes strange bedfellows.
G.B.: And sinners too.
F.W.: He called you one too? How dare he.
G.B.: I think he meant that Gerry guy.
F.W.: The one you didn’t talk to?
G.B.: That’s right.
F.W.: Gerry Sinner?
G.B.: Adams, if I recall correctly.
F.W.: So you do remember the conversation.
G.B.: Don’t. Can’t. Won’t. Will not. Wouldn’t.
F.W.: Are you planning a visit to Northern Ireland?
G.B.: Yes, but not before my next term.
F.W.: Sorry, but you can’t run again after this term.
G.B.: Well, after the election.
F.W.: The one in Iraq?
G.B.: No, Belfast.
F.W. You’re mixing your metaphors.
G.B: Too many calls. Can’t keep track of them all.
F.W.: Did the Reverend invite you to attend his church?
G.B. Well bless my soul, how did you know that?
F.W.: Word gets around.
G.B.: Yes, said we could look at photographs after his sermon.
F.W.: Of birds?
G.B.: More guns, I guess. I do hunt now and then.
F.W.: And?
G.B.: Said he would show me his trophy room.
F.W.: And you’ll talk about sinners?
G.B.: Might do that.
F.W.: You’re a busy man these days.
G.B.: Peace takes up a lot of time.
F.W. And patience.
G.B. And Reverend Gerry.
F.W. Reverend Gerry?
G.B. Gerry Fein. Funny name, isn’t it?
F.W.: A barrel of laughs.
G.B. Sorry, but I have to go. Laura promised to read to me tonight.
F.W.: Of course, but I wonder if next time I’m down your way…
G.B. You’re always welcome in my White House.
F.W. Will you be wearing one of Ian’s shirts?
G.B. No telling what I might do for peace.
F.W. Well, raise a pint for me, will you?
G.B.: I stopped drinking milk. Made a vow. If I got elected again I’d quit cow products.
F.W.: I meant Guinness.
G.B.: Martin? No, I haven’t spoken with him. Ian told me not to.
F.W. Are you taping this conversation?
G.B.: Of course, Gerry. I’ll send you the transcript.
F.W.: Do you know my address?
G.B: You got it, Reverend. How on earth could I forget?
F.W.: Now that is a very good question.




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The Blanket - A Journal of Protest & Dissent



All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorships.
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Index: Current Articles

11 December 2004

Other Articles From This Issue:

Post-Debacle Stress Syndrome
Anthony McIntyre

Keeping the Lid on Pandora's Box
Davy Adams

Paisley's Guide for Penitent Provos
Brian Mór

Talking to Mr. George
Fred A. Wilcox

Dr No Says No, Again; Dublin Wrong to Back Photos
Fr. Sean Mc Manus

A Way Out of the Impasse
Liam O Comain

'Eternal Elves of the West'
Seaghán Ó Murchú

Bobby Tohill vs. The Andersonstown News
Liam O Ruairc

Peace Comes Dropping Slow
Brian Lennon

6 December 2004

The Fleece Process
Anthony McIntyre

Padraic Paisley
Anthony McIntyre

Revolutionary Unionism
Dr John Coulter

Official Secrets
Mick Hall

Kilmichael Controversay Continues
Liam O Ruairc

Turkish Man Beaten and Racially Abused by PSNI in front of Witnesses

Iraq is Not the Second World War
Fred A Wilcox

Dancing at the Edge of the Abyss
Karen Lyden Cox



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