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Adams Nearly Quit Sinn Fein - Peace process hero angered by IRA's violence

The News Five Years From Now: Irish Tomes, January 1st, 2005*

*This article was carried four years ago as a satirical piece on the Irish Republican Writers' Group Website. In the context of recent statements by Gerry Adams, it seems to have possessed prophetic powers the authors didn't fully appreciate at the time



Barney de Breadbin and Eamonn Codswallop

The Sinn Fein President and Tanaiste, Mr Gerry Adams very nearly quit republican politics in 1972 in protest at an IRA bombing campaign which he believed was recklessly endangering civilians and setting back hopes of achieving a political reconciliation with Unionists, the Irish Tomes has learned.

Speaking on the eve of historic talks with the Fianna Fail leader, Mr Martin Mansergh, aimed at merging their two parties into an all-island organisation, Mr Adams said that but for the intervention of his wife Collette, who he revealed
yesterday was a founder member of the Peace People, the Northern Ireland peace process might have been stillborn.

"I stayed up all night fretting over my decision but what clinched it was Collette saying to me over breakfast that I should stay in and try to persuade republicans to abandon violence and embrace constitutional politics", he said in a phone interview yesterday. "I nipped round to Clonard for a quick prayer and contemplation and it was obvious what I had to do. I'm so glad I listened to Collette".

Speaking from his luxury island retreat of Inishvickalain which he purchased from the disgraced and bankrupted former Fianna Fail Taoiseach, Mr Charles Haughey three years ago, Mr Adams revealed it was the IRA's savage bombing onslaught on what became known as Bloody Friday in July 1972 that prompted his agonised deliberation.

"I knew nothing about the plans until an hour or so beforehand", he explained. "I was horrified. It was clear that the forces of law and order would be unable to handle so many bombs and that civilian casualties were inevitable. But no-one would listen to me". Twenty bombs exploded in Belfast city centre in the space of an hour killing nine people and injuring scores more.

His close aide and confidante, Mr Rick McAuley confirmed Mr Adams' account. "It was raining heavily at the time and I was standing beside him holding an umbrella over his head and I witnessed everything", he said yesterday. "Even though I was soaked to the skin I heard everything clearly". Mr McAuley said that control of the IRA in Belfast at that time was in the hands of mad anarchists and wild-eyed gypsies who were impervious to Mr Adams' entreaties. "I remember one night before Bloody Friday when Gerry actually went down on his knees and implored these two maniacs to stop. But they just paid him no attention".

With the crucial merger talks with Fianna Fail about to start and Mr Adams' name in the ring for a nomination for next year's Presidential race, Sinn Fein officials are anxious to put the record straight about the Sinn Fein leader's political career. "There has been a lot of misrepresentation and lies told about Gerry", said another aide, Mr Jim Gibney. "We have always told the truth about everything and anyone who thinks otherwise will have to explain themselves to Bobby Storey and they'll soon be put right. OK!"

Now the Irish Tomes can reveal that when the 16 year old barman joined the republican movement back in 1964 he actually thought he was becoming a member of the Catholic Boy Scouts of Ireland. He mistook attempts by the RUC to confiscate a Tricolour flag from a Sinn Fein election office for an attack on the Catholic Church.

"Gerry was such an innocent", explained Mr Gibney. "He thought the Tricolour was the Italian flag and that the RUC were trying to insult the Pope. He felt he had no choice but to defend Mother Church. A man called Liam McMillan recruited him to what he thought was the Boy Scouts. It was years later before he learned the awful truth and that he was in something called the I.R.A."

Mr Adams was arrested and interned in 1973 but now the Irish Tomes can disclose that this was the result of a terrible blunder by the RUC Special Branch. "The real leader of the IRA in Belfast was a guy called Geronimo Adams who, as fate would have it, bore an uncanny resemblance to Gerry", explained long time friend Danny 'Bangers' Morrison. "Anyone who says otherwise is talking through their hat".

The British authorities however refused to listen to reason and at one stage Mr Adams was so frustrated he decided to try to get witnesses from outside the jail to support him. But when he attempted to leave the prison visiting area to use a public phone to contact them he was accused of trying to escape and was imprisoned for a further three years.

Mr Adams spent his time in jail profitably however and he drew up plans to re-organise the IRA into "peace cells" and formulated a strategy which became known as "the Long Peace".

After his release from prison he set up a Northern Command to coordinate the "peace cells" which were given the task of bombarding British security bases with leaflets containing threats to impose "Stormont power-sharing" on Unionists. When a two ton truck containing the leaflets was discovered in the heart of the City of London, the British government agreed to secret talks with the IRA.

While this was happening IRA Volunteers were trained in the sophisticated techniques of "back door decommissioning", a skill which observers believe was vital to the eventual success of the peace process. Mr Adams' efforts took twenty years to bear fruit but eventually he succeeded in winning over the IRA Army Council to his gospel of peace. "It was the free trip to the States for Joe Cahill which clinched it in the end", said one IRA insider.

Since the signing of the Good Friday Agreement Sinn Fein have gone from strength to strength. In 2002 it merged with the SDLP to become known as the CDU - Catholic Defenders of Ulster - while SF ministers in the power-sharing Executive have impressed everyone with their performance.

Ms Bairbre de Brun has closed down fifteen country hospitals and handed over the running of the health service to the US-based "Broken Bone Corporation" since she took over the health ministry. She denied that this decision had anything to do with the fact that the BBC is owned by billionaire businessman, Mr Chuck Feeney a major contributor to Sinn Fein's coffers.

Mr Martin McGuinness meanwhile has been made a Papal Count for his services to Catholic education after he gave Northern Ireland's Catholic Bishops a blank cheque to spend on their schools and decided to fly the Vatican flag instead of the Union Jack over buildings under his control.

Last year Sinn Fein entered coalition with Fianna Fail in a deal which saw Mr Adams made Tanaiste and Sinn Fein given parity of esteem in regard to the lucrative brown envelope trade, once a Fianna Fail monopoly. "This makes the sacrifice of the hunger strikers worth it", Mr Adams said at the time.




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The Blanket - A Journal of Protest & Dissent



All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorships.
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Index: Current Articles

1 March 2004


Other Articles From This Issue:


The Enforcers

Anthony McIntyre


Reference Guide to Provisional IRA Attacks on Republicans, 1998-2004


Stand Down, Mr Hyde
Liam O Comain


Civilian Administration?
George Young


Adams Nearly Quit Sinn Fein - Peace Process Hero Angered by IRA's Violence
Barney de Breadbin and Eamonn Codswallop


Double Standards - Questions Need Answering
Raymond Blaney


Brilliant, Bloody Brilliant
Brian Mór


POWs and the Challenge of Partnership
Aoife Rivera Serrano


25 February 2004


Naming Bobby Sands Street

Pedram Moallemian


Suspended Belief
J. Sean Burns


Kelly's Cellars
Anthony McIntyre


Stop Press!
Jimmy Sands


PSNI/RUC Occupies POW's Family Homes
Marian Price and Martin Mulholland


Did the Black and Tans Run From the Rifles of the IRA?
Liam O Ruairc


Stevens, Inquiries, Resistance to Change
David Michael


Provisionals Attempt to Censor and Exclude RSF in Scotland
Seamus Reader


Provisional Police?
George Young




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